she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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