idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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