It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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