there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
