dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she smelled like a LAN party
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
