I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
