there was a trapeze. enough said
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
