Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
