One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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