see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
