nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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