my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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