a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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