i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
