Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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