I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
