I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
