Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
