In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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