He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How does it feel to date your dad?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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