I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
