you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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