You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
