Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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