my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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