They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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