i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I think my moral compass just broke
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
