You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
