I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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