why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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