farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
