i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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