I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
