so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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