hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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