Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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