remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
