My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
