Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
