That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
