if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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