I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So many bounce houses so little time
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
