Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
