i don't like sucking hair
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
