How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
