Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
