I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
