i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
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