This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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