He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In America we eat man semen.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
