yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
