i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
