Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
